Military Order of The Cootie          Portland Pup Tent #1.

                 Established in 1931               We’re the guys – with the ties

Cootie Lore & Other Latrine Rumors

This page is maintained by our Research Guru. Here he will post information he has found for us on a variety of topics; some of which may even be relevant. If you have something in Cootiedom that you don’t understand, or if you should disagree as to the accuracy of any of the content displayed here-in, please bring your question or evidence and lots of Cootie dollars to our next Scratch. 4LOTCS.



The title SEAM SQUIRREL came to be the name given to the Commander of a Pup Tent as a cheeky reference to the louse that loves to hide in the seams of one’s clothing and is thus extremely difficult to be rid of. (It was also a very good place for the louse to lay its eggs.) Keep in mind that this title and others of the Pup Tent were penned in 1923 when the lice infestations of World War I were fresh on the minds of those VFW members that started this COOTIE thing. Their attempt at humor and all things LOUSY gives one great pause as to their mental state. However, some of the titles of office are actually CUTE…. And most describe some function or characteristic of the louse, however insignificant that might be.

(references: Supreme Quartermaster Gary Dressel, Supreme Adjutant Emil Soltesz, Past Supreme Commander Larry Alexander, Supreme 13th District Representative Wayne Sharp, and various toilet paper chronicles.)

Some common phrases of The Twenties:

Bees Knees: extraordinary person, thing, or idea
Bull Session: male gossip or sexual exploits
Butt Me: give me a cigarette
Dead Soldier: empty beer bottle
Dumb Dora: a less than intelligent female

(references: Funk & Waggle’s Dictionary for the Common Man, Google, and scripture found behind special Oly labels)


Pup Tent flags are supposed to be green in color; District flags green/white; GRAND flags white; and SUPREME flags gold. All flags are trimmed in gold and are grandfathered (acceptable) if they happen to be a different color. The most important point being that all levels have an actual flag…..!

(references: MOC By-Laws as adopted by the 93rd Supreme Scratch, 28 July 2012, Article VII, Section 704 {page 31}; and probably stating something very similar in the newest version of the By-Laws….)


Term given to all liquid libations utilized and drinked/dranked/drunk by Cootie members. While it mostly refers to beverages containing a hefty dose of alcohol, it can and has occasionally also been applied to the many forms of actual milk. Who’d a thought….?!

(References:,,, Oregon Grand Commander Ken Kraft, Oregon Grand Adjutant Robert Gore, and various writings on out-house walls.)


Term given to the fictional head of our organization; akin to a supreme being or deity; sometimes referred to as a mascot. In the trenches of WWI, each of the Allies brought with them their own strain of lice. The American Grey-back, the Black Algerian Schinnels, the British Blue Bloods, the Great Blues from India, the Belgian Gold-Striped Henechers, and the French Greys and Gold Parisians mixed it up in the trenches and produced a dominant strain that has been since referred to as the GREAT BLUE LOUSE. Rumor and drunken supposition has since grasped this lousy champion and elevated it to its current lofty position as the grandest of them all.

(References:,, Past Supreme Commander Larry Alexander, Supreme 13th District Representative Wayne Sharp, secret whispers overheard at Grand meetings, toilet paper chronicles, and outright drunken revelry by anonymous and long-dead brother Cooties.)

LOTCS: (or L.O.T.C.S.)

An abbreviation for LOVE OF THE CRUMMY SHIRT and which refers to the official Cootie uniform shirt. (Yes, there actually IS one.) Normally white with fancy red embroidery and/or piping along its edges and back, this shirt can have various patches and the member’s Cootie number and other things sewn onto it. LOTCS can also refer to the absurdly fond memories of many brother Cooties (and their shirts) that have passed on to that great mud-hole in the sky. LOTCS is further commonly used and often mandated as a closing salutation for any written correspondence of the MOC.

(references: Pup Tent 1 Seam Squirrel Jim Schinman, Oregon Grand Adjutant Robert Gore, Supreme Past Commander Larry Alexander, and various hints and writings found in the bar and on the walls of our various meeting places.)


This phrase is normally found in paragraph 2 of the first General Order published by the Military Order of the Cootie (MOC) Supreme Headquarters at the beginning of each Cootie year. It has and always will refer to the disassociation by the MOC of two groups of women that were formed in the 50’s by the name of “Cootiettes” and “Lady Bugs”. As the story goes neither of these were ever any part of the MOC or MOCA (MOC Auxiliary) but somehow managed to gain the reputation of being so. Rumor further has it that their drunken outings and racy skits were embarrassing to the MOC.  In any event the Supreme in 1959 took action by what some call the “Disassociation Act of 1959” in which they made it abundantly clear that the Cootiettes had no association whatsoever with the MOC. Some say that the act also included the Lady Bugs, and yet others say that is isn’t so. Maybe The Shadow knows…..??!!

(references: Pup Tent 1 Seam Squirrel Jim Schinman, Supreme 13th District Representative Wayne Sharp, whispers overheard at various Oregon Grand meetings, toilet paper scrolls, and outright revelry by anonymous and long-dead brother Cooties.)

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